Into the Deep End

Into the Deep End

Special intro that I will be taking out once I post this. If you are on my email list, you get this automatically. I think. I am wrestling with the email thingie so really have no idea. I am writing again, redoing my website, refocusing it and I’ll be adding...

Morning Reflections

This is just WEIRD. I’m sipping my coffee at 7am. In case you don’t know, I’m not a morning person. I have NEVER been a morning person. For 48 years, through grade school, high school, college, jobs and careers, I always slept in–the Drill...

Breaking the Yellow Tape

This is my final battle ground. I know the names of my demons. I know their features, their smell, their habits and hiding places. I know their attack patterns. This one, though, I do not know. And it has stalked me all of my life. Recent events had me move my office...

Finding a Foundation

Who am I? Right now, I’m just a very exhausted person coming out of a deep depression. I am very old man. If you do the math, I’m about 648? A very long time ago, in an apartment in West Philly, a friend mentioned something that stuck with me. He said it seemed like I...
Constructs and Fishbowls

Constructs and Fishbowls

I was talking to a group of millennials the other day who were sharing a house a West Philly. I enjoy talking to millennials: the way they look at things and the pure entertainment value far, far exceeds the annoyance. But they were trying to explain to me that age is...

Chapter One: The Time to Write

[An aside: Before anybody thinks about picking up the phone and 302’ing me, don’t. Keep in mind. I am writing a book. I am writing in the moment (or from the past). I am getting naked. It is hard, it is painful, but there is also purpose and hope involved...

Dragonfly Wings

Grief can be such a powerful thing. I’ve seen the passing of a loved one destroy people, and even kill them. I never know what to say, what to do, how to act. “My thoughts are with you and your family” seems such a paltry thing. It is even harder when they die too...

From the Depths

[I actually wrote this one a few months ago. I sometimes wonder why I hit “publish,” but then I remember that I need to look at myself in a mirror and this is it. And I wonder if by others looking at me looking at myself in the mirror, I can find some...

Embrace the Moon

Embrace the life and memories, a cousin wrote to me. Embrace the moon and good thoughts of life. Sound advice. Good advice. And like all of the advice I receive, I try. I push out from this cocoon of sadness and hurt. Grasp at the life, the memories, the moon and...

An Angry Little Boy

[Maybe a bit dramatic, but I am feeling a bit dramatic today.] Protect your queen. I’m not sure if it was from a movie or a television show. The West Wing? The master against the amateur. A flurry of moves with pieces being taken from the chess board. Protect your...

Self Medication, Coffee Edit

Yes, yes: more coffee please. Toss in a few aspirin. And 15 hours of sleep. But this is what I wrote the other night, with some editing, and an afterword. The last “afterword” is still a ways off. For being drunk, I don’t think I did all that bad… So damn exhausted....

Out Beyond the Break

A few columns ago, I realized crazy was back. Now, he’s riding shotgun, just a tiny little nugget in the back of my mind. I thought I would take him for a spin. This is both metaphorical and literal. Crazy really is riding shotgun. He can be there every time I step...

Lost-Time

“C’mon, baby. Come to papa.” I’m on the edge of my seat, like a top college athlete and the team rep is on stage about to announce their first round draft pick. “It’s mine. All mine.” I excelled in the combine. Took the tests and failed/passed them all. I show all of...

The Secret World

(I sometimes wonder if I talk too much, write too much, reveal too much? But then I remember that not talking is what got me into trouble in the first place. And then I think that that is what might be keeping other people in trouble. So, I write.) It was one of the...

An Introduction to Introductions

Yep, still tinkering. I have over 1,000 columns for Coffee Chronicles. Many of them are, well, crap. They are an exploration of the landscape of my mind, trying to find a way out of depression, anxiety and the gentler insanities that ruled my life for so many years....

The Star Wars Geek

The Wine Chronicles Yes, I am a Star Wars geek. The second trilogy was not great, but I still love them anyway (I would love to know who was sleeping with who to get that kid the part in Phantom Menace). I think it might have something to do (my embrace of my...

The Day I Knew Crazy was Back

Justin Timberlake doesn’t have anything on me. He might have brought Sexy back (God love him for it) but I brought Crazy back. With JT, Sexy was just there, strutting across the music video with him. With Crazy, it took me a while to realize he was riding shotgun...